I think I need these Things Sometimes A walk to soothe my nerves A hand to hold A hug from a stranger A nice warm bath… But they never measure up to My expectations Because what I seek Is not me.
Walking along a garden path One foot In front of The other Butterflies flitting Birds chirping A beautiful flower O’erhangning the path Aching to be smelled. Not a rose A snapdragon Perhaps Filled with monstrous teeth Gnashing to snap me up in their Trap And filled with The flaming breath Of False promises and Fear.
Little children skipping passed Noses down The glow of their iPhones Blinding them to the Danger And the Beauty That surrounds them. They do not see me Trapped Behind a Snapdragon Smile.
Surrounded by Multitudes Teachers and Counselors Engineers and Analysts, People designed to See and fix The errors and flaws And none of them see The problem Within me The angry teeth Encasing my Heart The false smile Plastered From ear to ear The outstretched Hands Aching to be Held.
Seeking hands large enough To scoop me up Out of my own Darkness A sense Of false security From an outside Force. One strong enough to Drag me further Down this Dingy Hallway Full of smelly teens And unused lockers.
Did I ever enjoy this? This flitting Butterfly Dance Avoiding the stares Of ignorant, Plugged in Monsters. Searching for like-minded Eyes. Eyes equally seeking Intelligent Intercourse Between consenting Adults.
Can I speak to you? And will you actually Hear Me? Will you know me when Our eyes meet Across the room? Will your Need Counteract the societal Norms That Say Strangers Must maintain A Safe Distance? Or will you pull me into You, Needing my touch As much as I need yours?
I can almost feel Your arms Around me, A warmth O’ertaking the coldness. I feel my smile Breaking through the Darkness, Only to open my eyes To the Truth: Tears in a cold bath Can be a source of Warmth
And False hope False security False smiles False promises.
But I think I need these things Sometimes. Because without them Who would I be?
When I posted about the Marshmallow challenge, I had promised to post pictures. Now I can post pics from my old students and my new ones! It was a success again! It taught (most) of the students how to work together, and finishing with a writing prompt made it totally worthwhile!
This is NOT a new post! I just realized I’d done it in the wrong format. If you haven’t read it before, please enjoy. If you have, my feelings won’t be hurt if you skip it. 😉
Sometimes my brain goes to a dark place, especially when I’m sad about certain things. Or confused. I’ve been under a lot of stress lately, and thinking the worst about things I probably shouldn’t. This is the result. Please feel free to comment. I love feedback on creative works.
The smell of you awakens in me a primal urge A need A Hunger A thirst only you can sate But you keep me at arm’s length.
Arms that I feel, strong and firm I feel the tenderness in your touch when you wrap your arms around me I feel the warmth of your hand as it grasps mine in your sleep I feel the moistness of your breath on my cheek I feel the pain that will come because it will not last. Continue reading Primal Songs Unsung→
Seems like it’s been a longish while since I had time to sit in front of my computer and just…exist! 2014 is continuing to try to test me, and while I don’t think I’ve been handling it as well as I should, I think I’m coming out of a bad patch (hopefully) and things will be a bit more smooth sailing.
First, I think I owe a good friend an apology. I think I was jumping to conclusions (something I asked him NOT to do) about some things he wasn’t saying, all because of a selfish need that wasn’t being filled. Now that my car is fixed, although not quite in my possession, I am aware of how stressed I was about being trapped at home. I needed certain reassurances that I was too stubborn to ask for, and it caused my already tender feelings to be hurt nearly beyond repair. The subsequent argument(s) have kept me in a bit of a funk that opened some creative doors but shut down the more rational processing portions of my brain; the areas that allow me to make smart decisions and write useful stuff.
Secondly, my job has completely been turned on it’s ear! Any of you who are teachers are aware how difficult our job is, in spite of our hours, “paid” summer vacations, and the malicious thought that only inept people become teachers (remember that old adage: “those who can’t, teach…”). For those of you who AREN’T teachers, I’d be glad to enlighten you in a future post. Today, however, is for venting a little about current work craziness. Suffice it to say that teaching is more difficult than the average American believes it to be.
Today’s foray into the world of teenagers was much more successful than yesterday. And we did actual WRITING!!!
As we are on block schedule, I had new kids today, So, again, we begin with the rules and regulations. A boring 15 minutes in which I feel like we could record the reactions of the students and input it into the Ben Stein scene in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. “Bueller… Bueller…Bueller.”