Daily Archives: January 12, 2015

Is There Science Behind Intimacy?

I saw an article posted on Facebook by several people I knew, and had to give it a look (it’s amazing how often I get ideas from Facebook posts). What I found gave me more insight into my dating habits than I was prepared for, but those are the risks we take to find out about love.

The article claims to hold the key to how to fall in love with anyone, then proceeds to tell an anecdote about how the author fell in love with her current partner (no explanation as to how long her personal love story has lasted thus far). The more logical of you are probably about to argue with me that anecdotes are not logical, scientific proof, and I agree, but her experience had been based on an actual scientific study.

Even she admits that her experience didn’t fit the parameters of the original experiment, though, so the findings may not be particularly valid.

Enter my data. I think I can definitively say that, if done correctly, the process of the experiment does work. Or at least it betters your odds.

So what is the process?

The original experiment, as explained in this article (I have not looked into the original experiment myself), is fairly simple. The experiment places 2 single, heterosexual strangers of the opposite sex into a room and has them answer a series of 36 questions of increasing levels of intimacy. The idea being that the “shared vulnerability” breeds an instant closeness and trust that in return breeds romantic feelings…under the right conditions.

Then the participants stare into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes.

4 minute timer

I would think that 4 minutes was an uncomfortably long amount of time to stare into the eyes of anyone, let alone a stranger, but the experiment worked for at least one couple, and the author of the article said it worked for her as well, albeit for different reasons. I do love how she describes the 4 minute staring session…

It’s not like we don’t do this whole stranger to love experiment pretty regularly. Shows like The Bachelor thrive on this exact premise. And does anyone remember the whole kissing experiment from a year or two ago? It was really an advertisement, but the video went viral (and I love the song).

But does it work? Continue reading Is There Science Behind Intimacy?