Daily Archives: March 14, 2015

Day 20: What I Miss Most.

The something I miss most isn’t a specific thing, or a specific person, but a situation and the feelings that came with it. Sometimes I talk about my “first attempt at college,” when I first went to McMurry University in Abilene, TX. I talk a little about the bad boys that I met there, or about the friends I made there. It was while at McMurry that I met that first really awful boy, the abusive one, but it was also while I was in Abilene that I met AJ, who gave me my most romantic (only romantic) Valentine’s Day.

I miss the person I was when I was there. I miss the freedom and self-confidence I had while I was there. I miss the innocence I had when I first got there. I miss the friends I made while there. I miss that whole part of my life!

When I first went to college, I was fearless. I was convinced that because I was at college, I could finally be who I wanted to be. I was in a new place, with no preconceived notions of who I was or what I was capable. I wasn’t just a band nerd or a theater freak or a GT (gifted and talented or honors) student. I was a new person. I could put forth any personality I wanted.

I didn’t have to hide how liberal my views were on dating and sexuality. And I didn’t have to tell anyone that I didn’t date in high school. I could pretend to know everything, and there was no one around to tell anyone otherwise. I could tell people I was a Samantha instead of a Charlotte, and no one would be the wiser.

Charlotte, Miranda, Carrie, Samantha from Sex and the City, for those of you who didn't get the above reference.
Charlotte, Miranda, Carrie, Samantha from Sex and the City, for those of you who didn’t get the above reference.

Continue reading Day 20: What I Miss Most.