The Pirate and I had… a misunderstanding… or something. He was having a bad day, said I was being smothering, which I can see, and possibly agree with, but to me, the “why” is always the key. Why was I being smothering? Because something didn’t feel right. I have not been able to read his intentions, or what he thinks about me, and while he says with his words that he finds me interesting, and wants to keep me around… he’s shown no interest in ME, my life, my past, my hobbies. Every conversation goes back to the topics he’s interested in, or stories of his life.
I found that it bothered me. I found that I wanted some sign, that wasn’t asked for, that he was actually interested in ME. As such, I couldn’t back off like he asked… I never seem to be able to do that, because it makes me nervous. It’s happened before, and it will probably happen again with the next guy, as I’m sure the Pirate is done with me. And several people feel that I should be done with him as well. I think I was building up to that, maybe? I don’t know. I know I’m sad at the thought.
He posted a word on Instagram, one I did not know, and it (plus my actual feelings) are the inspiration for this poem. Continue reading Pistanthrophobia (Original Poem)