I Light My Own Candle

The wheel has turned again, and we find ourselves at the next holy day of the old ways… well, a particular pantheon of old ways, anyway.

For those of you who have been around for a while, you already know I don’t fit in a particular religious group. There was a time when people would call me a dabbler, intending it as an insult, though I rarely took it as one. I am a bit of a dabbler. I am strong in my faith, and I accept that my faith doesn’t exactly fit well within the parameters of any other particular faith.

Though this day and age is particularly suited for exactly that sort of thing.


There is an awakening and a shift in spirituality. There are those who are turning away from religion in its entirety, and I can’t say that I blame them. In their opinion, it is because of religion that we still have such horrible racism and bigotry in certain parts of this world. Here in America, our current president (whether you believe he should be or not) would say he is a Christian, yet he promotes a message of bigotry and racism almost every time he tweets.

Also, particularly strict Christians might find an issue with the number of times he’s been married. And that whole “grab them by the p*ssy” thing is pretty much the antithesis of Christian doctrine…

Yet, thousands of Americans view him as a “good” Christian and therefore morally righteous, no matter how often his own words and deeds prove him to be otherwise.


So I get why some people are turning away from religion and choosing to run away from all faiths. It’s hard to believe that any faith can be right when so many blindly ignore the rational truth in front of them that the Orange One is NOT a good person at all, let alone a true follower of Christ.

But (and I must admit I noticed this much earlier while I was in college) there are those who still need to feel that connection to something larger than themselves. I am one of those, most notably because I feel a connection to something larger than myself in a near tangible way. As such, I had to find a way to connect to the holy energy that connects us all in such a way that didn’t actually make me feel like a hypocrite or a bigot.

The result was a bit of an amalgamation of a handful of religions, mostly rooted in archetypes and the common doctrines among faiths. And, just like the Christo-pagans (yes it is a thing), I don’t exactly fit in a category and may or may not be accepted by people from other faiths when (or if) I out myself as someone from a slightly ambiguous path.


My faith continues to grow and evolve as I grow and become more solid in my own understanding of myself and my place in this world. The past six months or so has shown me a number of avenues to allow me to explore my faith and to let my connections to my spirituality blossom. One of which had a new year group meditation where we discussed the seeds we’d allow to grow this year.


The idea was just to let our light shine and let the universe or God, or the Goddess, or the Godhead, or fate or… you get the idea… help to shape it. I hadn’t been really thinking about it, but when I participated in the Imbolg meditation this evening, I realized that I had unintentionally been drawn more and more towards the teaching aspect of my life.

A good thing since that is my chosen profession. Also, a mildly confusing thing as I’ve been telling myself that I really want to focus on my creative side more and write regularly.

Instead of spending time writing, I find myself spending time working on lessons or silently reflecting on how the education system is broken, and then I find myself tweaking my lessons, and planning future lessons in my head when I think I should be writing and plotting and planning my book.


Does that mean I’ve given up on writing?

Absolutely not!

What it does mean is that I feel like I’m being called to focus on my teaching life a little more. That is where I can help heal this world. I’ve thought a bit about going back to school, not for the archetype thing that I’ve dreamt about but never took the steps to actually do, but to focus on curriculum because I think a great deal of where we’ve gone wrong is not so much on the quality of the curriculum, but the quantity: We have been trying to do too much at once. As our level of media interaction (and distraction) increases, the faster we feel we have to go to keep the kids engaged.

The problem is we’re not reaching mastery on anything. We’re not even teaching it to retention level because this is the instant gratification generation and something as salacious as “grab them by the p*ssy” is old news within a day or two because by then something else has grabbed our interest. I don’t think it’s about teaching faster, or in smaller chunks… it’s about forcing them to slow down so they CAN master and retain the skills.

I believe that is the seed the Goddess has granted me to cultivate: the means to heal and to spread knowledge. And the desire to do more to be a better teacher!


So this Imbolc, while, yes, I will ask Brigid to help stoke the fires of creativity within me, I hope that she will also strengthen the fires of healing and nurturing within me so that I may better serve my students and those around me who need comfort and support in their journey for wisdom.

The first steps must be taken by me, though. I must light the candle within from the unending flame of the Mother, and accept the gifts she grants me.


May your journey be lit by the holy fires of the Great Mother on this day and onward into the year. May Brigid protect you from harm by shielding you with her green mantle, and my you drink from her well, to be healed (or remain healthy) during this exceedingly vicious flu season!

May you walk in Beauty.

About Elizabeth

First and foremost I am a teacher. What I teach is a blend of grammatical art, literary love, and a smidge of spiritual awareness. My blog tries to combine the best of all three over a cup of tea.

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