The Unquiet One

“I used to be like you,” she said, sipping her tea, with one hand on each side of the mug. Her eyelashes fluttered to keep the steam out of her eyes, and she knew he was looking. She could feel his eyes staring at the delicate tips of her nails that touched right at the place where her mouth should be. She could sense him waiting for the cup to move so he could watch her lick her lip before she looked into his bright blue eyes and continued their discussion.

Even now she could smell the pheromones trickle off of him, even through the steam of the tea and after all the hurt she’d caused. She wondered if he could smell her as strongly. There was no doubt that he’d won, even if he didn’t know it yet. If only he’d take the chance.

When she looked up, the brief moment their eyes met, she saw the color flush to his cheeks as he looked away.

“How does one seduce a man so shy?” she thought. “How does she get him to seduce her?”

“I used to be like you,” she continued. “I used to watch and wait for the right moment to speak, but was sure it would never come.”

“I doubt that,” he said, the delicious deepness of his voice rumbled through the air. She could feel it like a kiss to her eardrums. If only he knew how much power there was in a voice like that. A voice like that could make women swoon from across a room. It had certainly worked its magic on her, which was not an easy feat.

“It’s true,” she said, shifting slightly in her seat. “In fact, in most situations, I’m still that quiet, but there’s something about you that makes me… unquiet.”

It was her turn to be uncomfortable, staring at her own hands, looking for the right words to explain what she meant without leaving herself so emotionally exposed. With her hands, she spun her teacup lightly around, staring blankly into the cup, while her mind raced through things to say: “You make me nervous,” or “do you realize how intimidatingly handsome you are?”

Neither would do, of course. She was trying to put him at ease, not make him feel bad. She’d done that enough already.

In the past week or so, she had, in no less than a dozen ways, told him, unintentionally of course, that he wasn’t a good person, that he wasn’t what she wanted. She had flubbed her way through an attempt at an apology, meaning to say that she was sorry for offending him, but instead telling him she was sorry they couldn’t even be friends…

Friends was the least of what she wanted from him.

Her brain ran through all the wrong things she’d said, all the ways she’d embarrassed herself in an attempt to be casual, nonchalant, unimposing, and now, removed from the events, she could see just how many ways she had managed to say the opposite of what she had wanted to say.

No wonder he wouldn’t look at her.

She sighed.

“What is it you want from me?” he asked. She could hear the hurt in his voice. Had she managed another mistake?

She wanted to say, “I want you to do things to make be unquiet in a dozen different ways, a dozen different positions, until neither of us can move. I want to feel those strong hands of yours running along my flesh and tangled in my hair. I want to hear you moan my name as we collapse into each other.”

What she managed to say was, “I don’t know.”

About Elizabeth

First and foremost I am a teacher. What I teach is a blend of grammatical art, literary love, and a smidge of spiritual awareness. My blog tries to combine the best of all three over a cup of tea.

7 thoughts on “The Unquiet One

  1. So does this mean you got the “do-over” requested in your weekly rewind, or am I overanalyzing like the nerdy writer I am? I’m rooting for the heroine in both realities. 😉

    1. No. I wish. But I think I’ve just decided he might be too much work. I didn’t go crazy about the ghosting until it was really obvious he’d ghosted and he’s someone I have to interact with almost daily, so that’s not ok. I didn’t do anything wrong this time! And he’s still being weird, so…

      1. You probably didn’t do anything “wrong” to start with! I wasted years amazing this kind of callow behavior in my dates before I finally understood it as a red flag. Good relationships require good communication, so be wary of someone who demands telepathy after the first date. You deserve a partner who respects you enough to give an honest response. (The search can be disheartening, but you’ll find them!)

  2. You have a charming if not enchanting way with words that is so raw and human that I can feel things in my skin. I like the whole letter/tea cup theme you’ve got going, too, and the dual identity between day job teacher and nighttime author. It comes close to being my cup of tea. 🙂

    If this dialogue is accurate, you’re both to blame for failing to launch. But, only you know what lustful longings you were having. All I get from him is a lingering trace of interest. He is evaluating your responses as you give them. Perhaps, aware of the “aspies,” he is being cautious around the barbed wire fence that can be so harsh/blunt when it least wants to be. He doesn’t want to self-inflict another wound any more than you desire to wound him. So, there is tension in the air. Yet, he doesn’t just walk away and ignore you.

    This situation requires a fair icebreaker, a mutually safe and calming environment where you can freely exchange feelings and, prepared to accept defeat, walk away with minimal pain/bruising. Think of this as a trial boxing match. You both enter the ring to dish out feelings on equal ground away from the eyes and ears of others. No audience. No pressure. Just raw bearing of the soul.

    But, fair warning, if you are the only one feeling these lustful feelings…or the only one to express them…then this won’t likely go well. And, from experience, I don’t think giving in to such lustful feelings before a solid relationship/friendship has been established ever goes well. At best, you find one of those quicky relationships that throws sex in the mix within a week or two and then drops off the map when one person turns to the hunt, again, elsewhere.

    1. Thank you. That is sound advice. I only wish I knew how to get him in a neutral situation so we could try to establish a friendship.

      This post, however is based only half in reality. He did ask what I wanted and I did say “I don’t know,” but that is about all that actually transpired.

      1. I can only think of two methods. One, you verbally invite or ask him to meet with you somewhere to talk about your feelings (and hope that isn’t too personal/intense for him). Or, two, you slip him a note to be more discreet…though I have had no luck with that option (but it feels so smooth and intriguing 🙂 ).

        Well, by saying “I don’t know,” what can you accomplish? It’s like saying you are “okay” when someone asks how you are when you really feel something else. Obviously, we have to pop the bubbles of hesitation and get things off our chests. If you have to work with the person, I can totally understand why it’s extra difficult. Though, when you don’t work with the person, it can be just as difficult if schedules reduce the time you have to interact, too.

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