Tag Archives: mothers

JWC Day 4 : Ode to my Mother

Today in the challenge, I’m supposed to write about someone who inspires me. My mother is probably my biggest inspiration. Shhh… Don’t tell her! We don’t want her getting a big head about it!

Seriously though, she’s done a lot for me, and even though I thought she stole my dream of becoming a teacher, I am still in awe of her awesomeness.

Yesterday also happened to be her birthday. Yes, she’s an Independence Baby… or whatever it is you call someone born on the Fourth of July (which is not my favorite Tom Cruise movie, by the way). Continue reading JWC Day 4 : Ode to my Mother

Confessions of Depression and Other Things

There are certain things I don’t usually talk about because I feel like I’m admitting something is wrong with me if I let other people know. For instance, *I* can know that I like the Ewok movie better than the whole original Star Wars Trilogy (for sentimental reasons), but I don’t often say it out loud for fear I will lose some of my “Geek cred,” as a friend of mine says. And apparently today is the day for confessions, so I’m starting off big!

As if that wasn’t a big enough confession, the thing I really wanted to talk about today was Seasonal Depression.

I sometimes fall prey to seasonal depression. I sometimes see how grey and cold and nasty it is outside, and that grey and cold and nasty feeling seeps inside of me and makes me not care about things I should.

I stop cleaning.

I stop eating healthy.

I quit caring about work.

I find most things just too hard to do.

I don’t throw things out. I let the mess pile around me until my room or (as happened this time) my entire apartment looks like it belongs to the Trash Lady muppet from The Labyrinth. 

seasonal depression causes this.
This is why I wouldn’t open my door all the way when people came to visit…

When this happens, I usually can’t see the best place to start. I clean one room, usually a small one like the bathroom or the kitchen. It’s something that makes me feel like I’ve made some sort of progress, because I believe that any progress will motivate me to get the rest of it done. And if I’ve caught it early enough, it does! I can successfully pick everything up, and there will be no problems… until the next grey and cold and nasty series of days or weeks. In Texas, we don’t have that much cold and nasty weather, so I can usually catch it fairly quick.

Sometimes, I just don’t. Continue reading Confessions of Depression and Other Things

Beauty Queens and Texas Whores

Just finished watching The Client List, starring Jennifer Love Hewitt.Overall, it was a pretty decent movie, given the indecent subject matter. A Texan woman, a former beauty queen, takes a job at what she thinks is a massage parlor to make some money to support her family. Turns out, it’s a whore house, and, turns out, she’s really good at what she does! To make it even more interesting, it’s based on a true story… and they’re remaking it into a Lifetime series.

Now, my interest in the show lies primarily in how it portrays Texas women, as I am a lifelong Texan (thus far). The main character makes comments early on in the show about how her mother told her “never to leave the house without makeup”, and “no one as pretty as [she] is should be poor.” I can relate to the first statement; I can honestly say the last time I left my house without makeup on, I was trying not to be recognized. (It did not precisely work, but then again, I have other attributes that make me stand out…or so I’m told) It seems in Texas, we prefer the not so natural look.

Later, when Hewitt’s character gets busted, she tells her mother that somehow it was like acting, but that having that much attention, all those powerful men treating her like she was the most important thing in their world, was something she needed. It’s not until after everything seems to fall apart that her mother tells her that she (the mother) should have taught her (the daughter) to rely on more than just her looks.

Coming from Texas, I understand this strange ideology that we women are only as good as our looks. It is bred into us from a very young age. My mother liked to tell me when I got into high school that I would lose the weight over the next summer, or the summer after that, because she had a growth spurt when she got to such and such an age. Imagine her disappointment when the weight never quite went away. Or how she always told me I look so pretty with makeup, but never said the same without it. Even now, every time I change a job, or location, my mother tells me that this time I’ll meet the one… As if meeting some man who wants to take care of me will make my life complete.

Interestingly enough, there was a time when wearing makeup meant a woman was a whore… Then again, I’ve also heard men say that they pay for their relations with women in a multitude of ways. It could be said that dinner and a movie were payment for future favors…

And men wonder why we are so messed up.